Feeling nervous isn’t a flaw, it’s human. Whether you’re stepping onto a stage, logging into a virtual meeting, or preparing for a high-stakes conversation, nerves are a natural response to situations that matter. They signal that you care, that you’re invested, and that you want to do well.

When nerves are left unmanaged, however, the anxiety can cause you to stumble over your words, lose your train of thought, or come across as uncertain—even when you know your material inside and out. In high-stakes moments, that can mean missed opportunities and leaving an underwhelming impression that sells you short.

So, while nerves are normal, they don’t have to take the lead. With the right strategies, you can manage that anxious energy and turn it into a source of focus and strength. This article explores why nerves show up, how to keep them in check, and when they tend to peak, so you can show up with clarity and confidence.

Why Managing Nerves Matters

Confidence plays a crucial role in growing your practice, often influencing prospects as much as expertise does. When you remain calm and composed, it conveys assurance and credibility, which can significantly impact how your message is received.

On the other hand, visible nervousness, even when you’re thoroughly prepared, can unintentionally signal uncertainty and potentially undermine your authority. Nervous energy can also become a distraction, drawing attention away from your message and weakening your connection with the audience.

Beyond perception, managing nerves also improves performance. When you’re calm, you’re able to think more clearly, make better decisions in the moment, and deliver your message with greater clarity and impact. In high-stakes situations, this can be the difference between gaining a client and watching a major opportunity slip away.

Techniques to Manage and Reduce Nerves

Fortunately, there are practical, research-backed techniques that can help you manage and reduce nervousness in these moments.

1. The Illusion of Transparency¹

   It often feels like everyone can see your nervousness, but research shows that’s rarely the case. This is known as the illusion of transparency, where we overestimate how visible our internal state is to others. Reminding yourself that your anxiety isn’t as obvious as it feels can be incredibly freeing. Most people are too focused on what you’re saying to notice a shaky hand or a slight quiver in your voice.

2. The Spotlight Effect²

   We often feel like all eyes are on us, analyzing every word and gesture—a phenomenon known as the spotlight effect. But here’s the good news: most people are only partially paying attention.

   They’re distracted, daydreaming, or focused on their own thoughts. The bad news? Because their attention is limited, it’s even more important that our communication is clear and confident. Recognizing this can help you relax and shift your focus from self-consciousness to delivering your message effectively.

3. Reframing Your Nervousness³

   Physiologically, nervousness and excitement are nearly identical: racing heart, faster breaths, heightened alertness. The difference lies in interpretation. By consciously reframing your nerves as excitement, you can harness that energy in a positive way. This mindset shift can improve performance and help you feel more in control.

4. Visualization⁴

   It’s completely natural to worry that you’ll mess up when speaking in front of others. Most of us imagine worst-case scenarios—forgetting our words, losing our place, or freezing under pressure.

   But instead of focusing on what could go wrong, try mentally rehearsing what could go right. Visualizing a successful outcome—seeing yourself speak clearly, engaging with your audience, and handling questions with ease—can build confidence and reduce anxiety. It’s a way of preparing your mind for success before you even begin.

5. +1 Breathing⁵

   When nerves kick in, it’s common to breathe more quickly and shallowly, sometimes without even realizing it. This kind of breathing can make your voice quiver, your chest tighten, and your anxiety spike. But there’s a simple way to counteract it: controlled breathing. Inhale for four seconds, then exhale for five, or however long that feels comfortable to you.

   That slightly longer exhale activates your body’s calming response, helping you feel more centered and in control. Practicing this for just a minute or two before a big moment can help settle your nerves and steady your voice.

6. Distanced Self-talk⁶

   Instead of saying “I’ve got this,” try saying your name or using the third person— “You’ve got this, Ryan.” This subtle shift creates emotional distance from the anxiety and helps you regulate your response more effectively. Why? We’re generally nicer and more supportive to others than we are to ourselves.

Situations In Which the Techniques Can Be Used

These techniques are especially valuable in situations where nervousness can throw us off our game. Public speaking is a common trigger, as presenting to a group often heightens nerves and self-awareness.

Similarly, speaking on a webinar can amplify anxiety due to the absence of in-person cues, making it harder to gauge reactions and maintain engagement. Presenters may also face challenges when navigating certain technological tasks or tools.

Lastly, high-stakes meetings—such as meetings with prospects or top clients—can feel like all-or-nothing moments, intensifying the pressure to perform flawlessly.

In each of these situations, managing nerves and projecting confidence can make a significant difference.

“But I’ve always been nervous before big events. I don’t think I can change that.”

The truth is you can. The goal isn’t to eliminate nerves completely— it’s about managing them so they don’t manage you. Of course, if anxiousness seems unmanageable and affects your sleep or well-being, consult a healthcare professional. Otherwise, you can build new habits that help you stay composed and effective, even in high-pressure situations.

To Summarize

First, understand that nerves are a natural response to high-pressure situations. However, if left unmanaged, they can influence how you’re perceived and hinder your ability to communicate effectively. Second, apply practical strategies to steady your nerves and present your best self with clarity and confidence. Third, be aware of the situations that tend to heighten anxiety—such as public speaking, webinars and high-stakes conversations—so you can anticipate challenges and prepare accordingly.

Turn Your Anxiety into Strength

Confidence isn’t about never feeling nervous, it’s about moving forward even when you do. I know this firsthand. I nearly failed a college class because I was too anxious to give my final presentation. Fast forward a few years (ok, maybe more than a few), and I’m now a professional speaker and communication coach. What changed? I learned to understand what triggered my anxiety and started using practical strategies to manage it.

Those nerves? They’re not a flaw; they’re a signal that you care. When channeled effectively, that energy can sharpen your focus and elevate your performance. I know—I once performed on stage with Second City’s improv troupe, and I used every single tip I now teach to keep up with some amazingly fast and funny people.

Confidence grows not by avoiding discomfort, but by proving to yourself again and again that you can handle it. Each time you push through, you build trust in your own resilience. And that’s where real confidence begins.

Next Step

Choose one technique that resonates with you. Maybe it’s +1 breathing, visualization, or reframing your nerves. Practice it before your next big moment, and you’ll see these small shifts can lead to big results. Want to go further? Talk to your Hartford Funds Advisor Consultant to learn more about our related communication content and coaching.